New Russian Chronicles
Surviving monotaxocausofilia

Así es Albacete

I know I haven’t been posting.

This post came about an unusual way. A friend posted some lovely pictures of stained glass in churches that represented WWII military. As in, soldiers, pilots and planes. It’s very interesting and I’ll talk about that at some point soon.

In response, I wanted to show her (and you, since you are here) something interesting in exchange.

Welcome to the Cathedral of Albacete.

It was built from 1515 and until 1949 (we are THAT lazy) over a Moorish mosque, it has different elements of style ranging from Neogothic to Neorromanic, and blah blah, columns, blah blah bell tower, bluh blug La Virgen de los Llanos.

Besides that, I really think it’s an unknown jewel, and I take any and all visitors to Albacete there simply because of the high mindfuck factor.
But without much further ado, let’s start. That said, I’m not just going to dump all the pictures right there and make jokes about it. No, I want you to pay attention, we are going to have a little game to test your observation skills.

Look at the following picture, and tell me if you see something weird or unusual.

Ok, so…. do you see it?

Yeah, I know there’s eviscerated people.




Yeah, yeah, some people are flying in horses, fine. Those are the riders of the apocalypse.



Yeah a mountain is flying and there’s a ship. Who gives a ship?
Ok so…
are you telling me…

DSC_1748Yep.  Learn how to stop worrying. And love the bomb.

Anyway, so we are introduced, with this picture, to one of the main themes of this church: The apocalypse.

One side note here: You can imagine that, as a kid, I was taken to mass. This being catholic Spain and everything. Soon, though, I wasn’t as much “taken” as I was “sent” (my parents had very important newspapers to read). By age 10 or so, I was old enough to know what a nuclear weapon was, but I also assumed that churches were all very old and all the paintings had been there for centuries…
… you can imagine how those two opposed facts would fuck with my mind, can’t you?

Needless to say, the walls were painted in the late 40’s, early 50’s, when nuclear war appeared to be a very real possibility.

I bears mention btw that these are the largest murals on canvass ever painted by a single person, Father Casimiro. He took three years painting them.

Let’s keep going:
DSC_1752Here we have JC Denton presented as king of all the nations. Many nice flags uh? So yeah, that red one under the US is the flag of the USSR. We have the Soviet flag in the walls of our local church. We rule. That said, what’s the white and green flag under the soviet one? Is that the OLP? I’ve always wondered.

Anyway, let’s keep going.

On one of the sides, there’s a chapel. Now, because you aren’t allowed to wear a uniform outside a military base in Spain, not many people in my home town are aware we are actually a bit of a military town, there to serve the needs of the nearby airbase. And so you find references to that in this chapel.

DSC_1753I love stained glass, it’s one of my favorite things.

That said, have you realized that the 4 small images at both sides of the stained glass are… the symbols of fighter squadrons?

DSC_1754Oh, and the plan of the airbase as it was back in the 40’s. I wonder if going into this church would have been considered spying. Legend has it that foreigners were not allowed at the Novodyevichi cementery in Moscow because many engineers had a plan of their inventions as their gravestone, which I find very awesome. (That also means that, for instance, generals of armored divisions have a badass tank as their gravestone).

To both sides of  the stained glass, this:
DSC_1755 DSC_1756





Have you seen the tank in one of them? I bet you haven’t.

So yeah. But the thing is this is not a sign that we in Albacete are specially violent or militaristic. Mister Thomas Gvardesky said it best, that chapel was probably paid by the families of those who served there, who just wanted their loved ones to come back home safely.

Anyway, I didn’t forgot to mention that there’s Mecca, Rome, the Kremlin (or rather, the St. Basil the blessed cathedral that people tend to mistake for the Kremlin) and the NY skyscrapers….. I wish I had a good pic. This one is a little blurry because of the zoom, but I’m sure you’ll make out some famous landmarks.

Click for huge.

The rest of the church has things that can be expected in a church. Scenes from the Bible, God, the missions, people falling from earth into hell or flying up to heaven… I must admit I like the little details that I can’t show right now because I don’t have pictures. For instance the instruments of power and the art broken on the floor of hell, to show that human vanity doesn’t last. Will show that one day.

Finally, to keep up with the subject of this church (the apocalypse) a picture of the altar. It’s not easy to see, but it’s shaped like a book and the 7 brass pieces represent the 7 seals of the book of apocalypse, as described in one of the longest surviving trip reports in history: the Book of Apocalypse in the Bible.


DSC_1762According to my mom, in 2012 it opened and the local priest read it in awe and fear. Then a harsh transformation overcame him and he becase extremely aggressive and bloodthirsty, trying to bite everyone. Some medical tests administered post mortem showed he had an unknown illness, that would have turned everyone into bloodthirsthy killes, and it was very contagious through the saliva.

Apparently it didn’t come to worse because he went for the cleaning lady (an elderly woman from Casasibañez) who took one of the big candleholders and smashed it into his head.

And that’s the unimpressive story of the only Zombie Outbreak in Albacete.

I KNOW Divergent has quite a dose of Twilight in it. I guess when a movie tickles my fancy (sci fi, girls kicking ass, revolt) I get as lost as teenage girls watching Twilight. Also, ideas of not conforming, coming from Hollywood? Mh.


3 comentarios to “Así es Albacete”

  1. Jeje, me acuerdo de aquella visita de la Catedral de Albacete 😀

  2. […] This is, essentially, how you should what I felt as a kid when I was taken to mass and I’d see the things described in this post I wrote: […]


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