New Russian Chronicles
Surviving monotaxocausofilia

A trip to hades

My roommates have been nice enough to invite me for a walk of some deep, deep pits and trenches of the internet.

Seriously, what have I done to them?

Let’s cathegorize them:

Award If Cthulhu has a face
Donatella Versace. Ugly warning

Award Why does this even exist
Stella the sheep. Definitely Not Safe to watch at Work.

Award Fuck the Japanese
Japanese public toilet prank. I mean, seriously, what’s wrong with the Japanese?

Anyway, let’s offset this with something nice and call it a night.
Cool Hubble pictures fuck yeah!

CJ7 is just a movie about a kid who is poor and finds an alien creature, then turns his life around. It’s really a kids movie, with a moral and all. That said, it’s remarkable because it comes from a different places. I realized that many of the common places that you would find in western comedies are absent here, replaced by other common places… familiar to the Chinese. It’s fascinating to think about. In Western movies you’d have the misunderstood hero, the ugly girl who turns out to be awesome, the bad guy who turns good… and those archetypes are simply different.

Also, I’ve never seen a movie that abuses so badly that bad narrative strategy: “And then the little kid woke up and it turned out it had all been a dream.” Three times. Three times in a single movie. Dude.

The replacements is less a movie about American Football than a movie gloryfing scabs and being very sexist. It glorifies scabs because the phrase “The people don’t want this strike!” is heard at least four times, and the whole point of the movie is that “striking or demanding anything from your employer = bad”.
It’s sexist because in this movie, no woman, literally NOT ONE woman does anything but cheerleading and looking pretty/stupid.

Shaolin Basketball is the most unpretentious movie ever. What does it say on the tin? That you are going to see dudes doing martial arts and slam dunks? Well, that’s what you get. Switch off your brain and have fun.


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