New Russian Chronicles
Surviving monotaxocausofilia

Let’s do an angsty post!! Yay!

Actually, I have always had this impression that my blog, kinda… misses the point of blogs. I mean, since the world was created 6000 years ago blogs have had one purpose: To help angsty teenagers get out all that steam, all those things they feel but can’t really express, out in the world for everyone to misunderstand and ridicule.

And crap, I’ve just realized that I have NOT been doing that! My blog has all been about puns, translation, cheating on that whole “cinema write-up in one word” concept (you haven’t noticed? woah…), weird ideas, bridges, music, public service annoucements, Russia and posting under the influence!
No angst, no whining, no posting songs that have meanings that are either too obscure or too crass, no! No innuendo that some wrongful party ™ would understand!

It’s time to change all that and make my blog an honest, decent blog.

Let’s assume for a second that my current circumstances deserve some to be whined over, and game’s on

Let’s start with the the cryptic angst, in the form of one big favorite of this blog: Wikipedia quotes
—————————————————————————-
This too shall pass
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article is about the proverb. For other uses, see This too shall pass (disambiguation).

“This too shall pass” (Persian: این نیز بگذرد, Hebrew: גם זה יעבור‎, Turkish: Bu da geçer) is a proverb indicating that all material conditions, positive or negative, are temporary. The phrase seems to have originated in the writings of the medieval Persian Sufi poets, and is often attached to a fable of a great king who is humbled by the simple words. Some versions of the fable, beginning with that of Attar of Nishapur, add the detail that the phrase is inscribed on a ring, which therefore has the ability to make the happy man sad and the sad man happy. Jewish folklore often describes Solomon as giving or receiving the phrase. The proverb and associated fable were popular in the first half of the 19th century, appearing in a collection of tales by the English poet Edward Fitzgerald and being employed in a speech by Abraham Lincoln before he became president.
——————————————————————————————————————–
Yes! Right on target! My readers can assume I’m hurt for something and telling my that it will pass at some point! That’s the cue to all of them writing to me and saying “Woah, dude, what’s up, you ok?” Yes! Sweet, sweet attention!

Now what? mh… bear with me, i haven’t done this before… what is better, to put up a song? Awful poetry? mh…

Ok, let’s put up a song. Options are, a song that a hypothetical wrongful party would recognize and/or a “I’m all fucked up” song. Which option will show more angst and inner confusion?
Nah, let’s go with a classic:

Yesssssss! There you go, angst flowing out like the freakin’ Vesubius!

Awful poetry… No, let’s just NOT go there.

(side note: Thanks to my youtube research for this video I’ve found Nina Persson covering “Whole lotta love” and, honestly, I’m having a hard-on).

What else could I put up? I’m a bit at a loss here. But even if I the ideas don’t come to me right now, I know my value, you know? I know what I’m worth, I’m a cool guy, and I’m not going to undersell myself just because, you know.

THERE! I SAID IT! I’m making references that no one would understand except wrongful party ™ and I’m managing to be a hurting asshole at the same time! Because IIRC, one of the first rules of angsty posts is not even ADMITTING the possibility that the other person is hurt, or anything. No, actually, in a post such as this I MUST paint the wrongful party ™ to be monsters, people who of course totally spat on your pure and tender feelings, and used wiles and guile to lure you out into a trap. Then they killed some kittens for good measure and proceeded to lie to me shamelessly. Yup. [/irony]

Don’t forget the obligatory “Oh but if only they’d see the error in their ways, maybe I could be merciful” or something to that effect. Oh, and some angsty lyrics work wonders too!
“But in the end…it doesn’t really matter.” – linkin park

Yay, let’s all NOT deal with our feelings!

Oh, and webcomics! Of course!! Now, the point is, of course reading waaaaaaaaaaaaay to much into anything, and webcomics are perfect for this.

Yes! Because just today, I kid you not, my favorite webcomic produced this installement, yeah, this guy really knows the score, he’s totally represented what I feel. Yeah, it can’t be by chance, it’s the universe and stuff conspiring, because something something, and I was right after all and hurr hurr.

Needless to say, the point of finding an appropiate webcomic is to use it as finger, pointed to the blame of the wrongful party ™, so that it serves as a permanent: HA! *walks away all in a huff* to show how cool and right you are. Or something.

Ok… and to end…. let’s do the forbidden. Actually, credit where is due, this was not me, but the author of this blog
My Amazing Cervix.
(Guest blogger yay!)

AWFUL ANGSTY POETRY

Out like a light
our time together spent;
how could i have known
what was said wasn’t meant;

Cut to the core
like an apple in fall
bleeding like an angel
WHY DON’T YOU CALL?

I’ll always think of you
my heart on your sleeve
now my whole life is empty
my soul has been cleaved

hate is my currency
pain is my being
the red blood of loss
is all that i’m seeing

I’ll end it all now
my existence is through
but know this right now
it’s all because of you!
:smith+2:

(OM, that’s seriously awful xDDDDDDDDDDDD Thanks fellow blogger! This post would deserve to be called Cthulu’s belly lint just thanks to your poetry! You respected all the rules laid out in my post! XDD BIG LOL)

Anyway, and now… let’s move on.

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3 comentarios to “Let’s do an angsty post!! Yay!”

  1. You’re an evil genius. Wile E. Coyote, even [pat you on your virtual back].

  2. Hilarious. *ESPECIALLY* the part about the universe aligning so that you would read that comic exactly now… except the end of the comic reminded me of part of Sin City and really made me sad, and it’s the second time I’ve been reminded of it this week Seriously, it’s like the universe is conspiring to make me…. nevermind… gotta go write a poem ;).

  3. 🙂 Isn’t it? It’s one of those things, I’m sure. I don’t believe in destiny, but crap… it’s like in the Discworld novels, I don’t know if you ever heard of them. In them, the gods make fun of atheist by throwing stones at their windows.


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