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La primera noche
ellos se acercan y cogen una flor
de nuestro jardín,
y no decimos nada.
La segunda noche
ya no se esconden
pisan las flores,
matan nuestro perro
y no decimos nada.
Hasta que un día
el más frágil de ellos
entra sólo en nuestra casa,
nos roba la luna, y
conociendo nuestro miedo
nos arranca la voz de la garganta.
Y porque no dijimos nada
ya no podemos decir nada

- Vladimir Maiakovski

The first night
They draw near
And pick a flower from our garden.
And we don’t say anything.
The second night,
Now openly, they
Stomp the flowers, kill our dog,
And we don’t say anything.
Until one day
The weakest of them
Enteres our house alone
Steals the moon from us and,
Knowing our fear,
Fetches our voices from our throats
And because we said nothing
We no longer can say anything.

- Vladimir Mayakovsky

Alors, que est-ce que tu fais si tu comptes déménager et tourner la page d’une énorme (même, la plus importante) partie de ta vie?

Eh beh, bien évidemment tu commences par trier le bouquins que tu comptes donner au mec à la fontaine St. Michel qui prend tous les livres que Gibert Jaune n’achète pas. Ah, tu le connaissais pas ? Ouais, si un jour tu passes par là-bas et Gibert Jaune n’achète pas ton « manuel statistique corrigé sur l’incidence du bonnet breton dans les relations commerciales Franco-Italiennes » alors il y a toujours quelqu’un à la sortie pour prendre tes livres. Bon, pas toujours, si tu vois un tas de livres derrière l’arrêt de bus là-bas ça veut dire qu’ils ne sont pas là. Faudra attendre le matin pour qu’ils prennent ces tas.

Mais oui, enfin, il y a au moins deux types. L’un te dit toujours qu’il va vendre ces livres au nom d’un association caritative. L’autre te dit toujours que c’est pour le vendre et tirer profit lui, et qu’il compte pas mentir, ce n’est pas pour une assos, et que au moins tu te débarrasses du poids mort, tout le monde gagne.

Bref, si on veut aller traiter avec ces deux charmants gentlemen et faire une donation de livres, si on veut démonter ça vie et la voire réduite à quelques boîtes en carton, il faut un plan.

Le mien est simple. D’abord j’ai crée une première catégorie de livres, ceux que je suis sure que je compte donner. Ces livres que je sais que je lirai pas.

Après j’ai fait une autre catégorie, appelée « Allez, ça aussi doit partir ». Après celle-la, il y a la catégorie « Non, mais, soyons serieux, ça et ça je lirai pas non plus ». Au fil de la catégorisation il devrait apparaître un tas de livres que on pourra aller donner à notre ami à la fontaine St. Michel.

Après il ne reste que faire la même chose avec autres groupes de choses. Les fringues, les posters, les appareils électroniques….

Les exception sont les cadeaux des ex (il y a un four pour ça) et les meubles. Alors, les meubles,c’est une histoire subtile. Si le prochain locataire les veut, je pourrait bien le filer et ça me déchargera de problèmes. Mais peut être je suis obligé à les démonter avec un tournevis.

Mon tournevis. J'étais en train de démonter un meuble.

Plus sérieusement, ouais, faudra les démonter et les donner, peut être.

Et tout ça, pourquoi ? Comment j’ai arrivé à ça ? Et penser que je me vantais dans le passé d’être toujours léger, de déménager tout seul à l’aide d’une seule course en taxi. Penser que je n’ai jamais fait appel à des potes pour déménager.
Ce qui est arrivé c’est simplement que je vive depuis 4 ans dans le même endroit. Et alors, sans même que je le remarque un jour j’ai commencé à posséder des meubles.

Aaaah the trappings of ownership.

Mais bon. C’est jamais trop tard pour sortir le tournevis et regagner légèreté d’esprit et de bagage.

Ah, par ailleurs…. Götterdämmerung is how I feel right now.
——————————————————————————-
El topo – la taupe – Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy

I think my last review was too short, that film does deserve to be expanded upon.

You know what, I’m going to go ahead and say it : No one liked it, but I did.

Let’s start with the obvious , it’s a very well thought out film, the actors are first class etc.etc. Then why is it failing to catch the audiences ? Because it’s slow, dense and complicated.

To start with the cons, Prideaux’s character is not that fleshed out, but it’s almost a side story in the book, and it was not an easy storyline to commit to film. Also, Smiley’s character is famous for cleaning his glasses with his tie and he doesn’t do that in the movie. Also, why the crap did they set Prideaux Misson in Hungary? It was Czechoslovakia in the book. What, Americans are too dumb to know about Prague? True fans be hatin’ I’m sure.

But the main criticism is this : Ok.yes, I admit it myself, even though I like it. The film doesn’t really flow, it crawls. There’s so much detail (and so much of it is difficult to notice if you don’t know were to look) that it can overwhelm regular viewers, specially those who haven’t read the book.

An exemple : right out of the cinema, my mother’s first question (echoed by everyone else but my dad) was « Ok so…. who was the bad guy ? »

But I’d raher advise to treat this films as the complicated masterpiece it is. You have to like the genre and be patient with slow movies. If you are, you are in for a treat.

The acting is incredible. But what’s really incredible is that they’ve managed to really reflect most of the intrincate detail of the book. The spy operations in particular.
Because, you see, that’s the essential lesson to be understood from this film : spy operations are usually boring and bland. Crap, even the british spy infiltrating the british secret service to obtain information and convince the reluctant administration is tense, but not exciting. Because that’s what spycraft is, patience, attention to small details, cold blood… and absent from this list, action, firefights, glamour and easy chicks.

Although there is one girl… the Russian spy that defects for love, only to follow the young, brash British headhunter that totally derelicts duty for her love. Man is she pretty. One of the highlights of the film.

The result? You decide, I won’t tell you how to think. But! I have a cinema review to make.

Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy: Concentration

Anyway, yeah, if you were thinking of going I hope my review helps.

Alors, je ne sais pas comment ça se passe chez vous mais je dois expliquer.
Alors, grand dîner de famille, et après on sort. Même si vous avez commencé (comme moi) 2012 sans une seule goutte d’alcool, et alors sans gueule de bois, on se couche tard et on se leve tard. Ça, déjà, me casse les bombons. J’ai perdu la moité de ma journée à dormir. Et merde.

Après, grand repas de famille.
Et après?

Après, le grand néant. Mes potes sont tous KO, mes lieux habituels sont tous fermés, ma famille est KO, et il n’y a rien à faire. Alors ok, bon, même si je me sens sociable je ferais mes activités solitaires.
Le problème est quand on commence à s’ennuyer et on tombe dans des lieux sombres, où, en tout évidence, aucun être rationnel n’a pas rentré depuis un bon moment.

Je vous présente…

Alors pour info:

Panzer General est un jeu de 1997, un classic des jeux de stratégie et le jeu qui m’a introduit dans le genre.
C’est un jeu pour ceux qui aiment les simulations mais qui restent humains.

Pourquoi humains? parce qu’il existe une race secrète de mecs gens qui font et jouent simulations tellement détailles que même y penser me fait peur. Des simulations avec tellement de possibilités qu’il faut faire des études pour y jouer. Des simulations qui tiennent compte de la possibilité que le commandant puisse verser ça tasse de café sur ses cartes.
Mais c’est un demi monde sobre et dangereux et je préfère ne pas trop parler.
When you stare at the mosh pit, the mosh pit stares back at you.

Non, Panzer General et ses jeux posterieurs sont simples et accesibles pour le publique lambda.
Pourtant, ils sont bien ouverts à d’autres types de perversion. Par exemple, t’es autrichien et tu veux faire une campagne glorieuse (et révisionniste) de la première guerre mondiale, pour pouvoir jouer avec l’empire Austro-Hongrois?
Alors vas y mec, le monde à tes pieds!

Ça c’est exactement ce que quelqu’un a fait. Ils ont pris le Panzer General comme base et ils ont fait une campagne de la première guerre mondiale du point de vue allemand et un autre du point de vue austro-hongrois.

Et ouais. Tout ça partie de la série: le fin fond d’internet. xD

Non, plus sérieusement, même si c’est évident que le jeu à été pensé par quelqun avec des idées nationalistes (et avec un anglais parfois approximative), il faut dire que le jeu est génial. J’hallucine avec la quantité de matière grise utilisé. Je dis ça parce que tout le jeu original est pensé pour simuler la deuxième guerre mondiale. Pourtant ils ont réussi à simuler très bien le style de combat de la grande guerre. C’est épatant.

Si vous avez envie d’essayer…
Panzer General Forever

Une chose reste clair: Je dois sortir plus. Le 1er janvier, et en général.
———————————————————————
Par ailleurs, quel est l’histoire de Gran Torino?

Je dois dire que j’ai regardé le film un peu par hasard. J’étais lié à un sofa, mes potes aussi, les autres chaînes ne montraient que des films tellement pour nanas que on aurait devenu homo à les regarder. Et on avait un ordinateur avec accès à internet, mais il n’y avait pas de consensus sur quoi regarder. Alors on a vu Clint Eastwood.

Je trouve que c’est un bon film. La technique cinema est correcte, et il y a plein de détails et parallelismes interessants.
Par exemple
[SPOILERS]
Le fait que le soldat américain qui a tué des adolescents asiatiques meurt, à son tour, par des ados asiatiques. Un détails qui se relie avec tout l’histoire du regret du protagoniste.
[/SPOILERS]

Ça parle de beaucoup de sujets. L’immigration, la violence, etc.etc. C’est vraiment intéressant et je le recommande.

La seule critique que je pourrais faire… non, c’est pas ça. J’ai lis que ce film est pour Clint Eastwood une manière d’avouer que les valeurs ultra conservateurs qu’il a défendu sont plus valables. Par exemple, il condamne la violence comme instrument contre la violence. C’est bien. Il défend le travail dur. C’est bien. Il se moque un peu des interventions américaines dans le sud-ouest asiatique. Cool.
En fait ça serait injuste que je critique tel ou tel prise de position dans le film. Ok, nous avons des avis différents sur certains sujets, mais je trouve que Clint Eastwood a fait tout un pas très courageux en critiquant certaines choses de sont passé. Ça serait incorrecte de ma part d’aller l’attaquer parce qu’il n’est pas devenu un hippie embrasse-arbres comme moi. Non. C’est bien se corriger, et j’admire. Nous les hippies embrasse-arbres devrions aussi faire de l’autocritique.

D’intérêt particulier sont deux messages du film:
- Le travail dur est très bien mais sert à rien sans un appui externe (outils et formation)
- Très souvent on ne choisit pas rentrer dans une gang.

Alors voilà.

Gran Torino: Rich

¿A que lo hago bien? Tendría que ser yo el crítico estrella de Hollywood.

The Kingdom of Bulgaria includes the small royal demesne, the county of Serdica, and all of our vassals. To the northeast, the coveted lands of Galaz, Constantia and Birland. But those lands, as rightly as they belong to Bulgaria, are beyond our reach. Not even the rebellion plaging Birdland would justify our intervention. The Duke of Nytra is still the Papal controller, and even if he were not, he’s one of the Prince-Electors of the Holy Roman Empire. We cannot act, for the Germanic empire would crush as as surely as the night is dark.

To the south, the Byzantine empire, controlling most of the Anatolian peninsula and all of Greece. They are not only a very powerful neighbor. They were our former liege, from which we declared independence when Demetrios was crowned, after the death of his father. We enjoy a very good relationship with them, but Demetrios hasn’t forgotten that he has a claim to the titles of Count of Serdica and Prince of Tarnovo. Right now all of his forces are engaged in a bitter conflict with the Seljuk Turks, and the Count of Constantinople backstabbed the empire and tried to seize some lands. That might be good for us right now, but at some point the war between Byzancion and the Seljuk Turks will come to and end, and the count of Constantinople will have hell to pay. But what if the Empire turned its eyes on the Kingdom of Bulgaria at some point?

That’s why Ioannes decided to propose an alliance to the Byzantine Empire. It is relevant to mention that the king’s explanation for that alliance became part of the Bulgarian literary heritage thanks to the royal chronicle writer, who transcribed his words as “What shame is there in acknowledging the might and wisdom of the wise Demetrios, and forging an alliance unequal in strength, but equal in faith?”. That said, the kings actual words were “We might as well suck up to them, it’s our asses on the line here”, a commentary which became very popular in court.

Demetrios’ verbatim answer has been lost to history, but the thrust of it was “Nyet“.
And with that, an unsecured border that would cause many a sleepless night for the king.

But look to the north.

The Pecheneg. Pagan tribes, excellent horseriders that came to this land fleeing, or so they tell, an invasion of their ancestral homelands. They were invaded by a force they speak of in hushed and fearful terms. A vaste army of horseriders much better than them, ruthless and completely unstoppable. Something they call “the Golden horde”.

But that, sire, is just some pagan legend that they hold on to.

One thing remains true, however. Although they are good warriors, their domains are a shadow of their former selves. Things as they are, any of the surrounding kingdoms could conquer them and add their lands to theirs. That would be unacceptable. Obviously, the best thing to do is to conquer them right away.

The king was quick to issue a grand call to arms. The response, however, was very lukewarm, as only two vassals sent their regiments to fight with the king. The king’s marshall had prepared the regiments and put them in position before the declaration of war, and so the very first battle was fought in the Pecheneg heartland.

A phyrric victory was won. Despite what the figures could suggest it was a pitched battle. Right when the battle seemed to favour the Bulgarians, the pecheneg organized a desperate ambush, trapping the royal regiment in a ravine and slaying them to a man. Only the king and his closest advisors and guards escaped, and the battle was won because the count of Nikopolis made a show of bravery and charged against the weakened Pechenegs.

The battle was won, but only a ragged Nikopolis regiment remained to siege the Pecheneg’s fortress. The Royal regiment was no more, and the king was forced to strongarm the reluctant count of Tarnovo for support. He ended up providing his troops, but not without resenting the king’s forcefulness.

The war, however. The long absence of the king’s chancellor, called to lead a troop alongside the king, had already strained the secret relationship between the chancellor and the queen.

And when the king took on three pechenegs on his own to save the life of the chancellor, who had been knocked off his horse, he felt a profound surge of loyalty towards his liege. After the battle and a good night of sleep he confessed his adultery to his liege, swore that none of the children the queen had bore were his, and put his life in the hands of the Ioannes. The king, deeply moved by the courage of his brother at arms, spared his life and promised himself to give the queen the attentions she was obviously lacking.

By October, the land of the Pecheneg was conquered, and the High Chief was prisoner to the Bulgarians. And it was then that Ioannes surprised the world again with an act of mercy, for instead of making the Pecheneg lands his, he spared the life and titles of his opponent. Kügel of Oleshye will still rule over the Pecheneg lands and keep the chief of Tyrgoviste as his vassal, but he would become a vassal to Ioannes and convert to (orthodox) Christianity.

And so, the war was over. Bulgaria could now rest, reconstruct and lick its wounds. But Bulgaria is still a small kingdom surrounded by powerful neighbors. And this map shows them:

To the south (in violet), the Byzantine empire, which has already reconquered all the lost lands to the turks.
To the north (in yellow) the long tendrils of the German empire. More to the north, the kingdoms of Poland and Bohemia.
To the east (in slightly clearer blue) the kingdom of Croatia.

Bulgaria enters a time of peace and flourishing.

Every single 22nd of December there’s a big lottery draw in Spain. The biggest of the year. And that day, instead of some boring old notary public looking at some wooden balls with numbers and noting them down on a piece of paper, the whole process is done on TV. So far so good, right?

That’s if you’ve never heard The Droning.

Imagine an annoying child, droning an annoying tune in your ear… forever.

This is serious shit. The guy who posted that video has the right idea, it’s awesomely boring. But “boring” doesn’t do it justice, it’s annoying. That is the only video I could find of the regular dorning, most videos actually show the big prizes being won. And what your feeble mind hasn’t yet imagined is that on this day, every year, EVERY SINGLE TV IN THE COUNTRY has this boring lottery on. EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. I woke up hearing this droning on my brother’s second screen (He’s a real computerman, he’s got more than one screen). He had put it on while he programmed.
AAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE IT I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!

Also, notice how boring it is despite how many dramatic angles the cameramen try to get. xD It’s hilarious. And to be honest I probably hate it because it’s only once a year, if it was any more often I would tune it out like I tune out many other things.

But yeah, you are slightly more informed now about Spanish traditions. But I think this is one tradition we should actually hide. Because man, every single year, for a morning, the entire population becomes a throng of hypnotized zombies.

Anyway, before my disconnected and uncoherent comments turn into a full fledged rant and start advocating the guillotine to any public servant that doesn’t serve the public, let me propose a contest:

What is the worst exemple of politicians being arrogant, wasteful and/or stupid? (Short of stealing, again).

Here’s my entry:

The Congress of the United States votes a bill declaring the Battle of Marathon “very relevant”.

Seriously? So you fucking passed a law saying “Oh, you know, the Battle of Marathon was cool or something, dude”. Well good for you mr. congressman, but now you are going to be beaten up, see if that smartens you up. Also, you are going to be working at a factory for a year. That’s ought to do you some good.

But of course, it’s not just a waste of time, you and I know it. First, it’s a glancing blow against all those a-rabs and ragheads whose asses were kicked by the Greeks, isn’t it? It’s just another manifestation of xenophobia. And what’s that about the Greek inventing “Democracy” ? Yeah, kind of a plutocracy maybe. Yeah, I see why the US congress would support that.

[/rant]

Anyway, yeah, if you can find and post in the comments an even worse example of the political establishment wasting our collective times*, please post it here. I promise a prize, even a post in my blog!

So post away!

*I’m not an advocate of small government, though, that only lets the private enterprise monsters free.

My name is Ioannes Dukas.

- Hail Ioannes Dukas, King of Bulgaria, Prince of Tarnovo, titles titles and count of Serdica!
—————————————————-

The recently formed Kingdom of Bulgaria, founded barely some decades ago, seems to enjoy stable and quiet borders with his powerful southern neighbor and former liege, the Byzantine Empire. To the north, barbarian tribes of Pecheneg, led by the High Chief of the Pechenegs, the great warrior Kügel of Oleyshe. They were an indomitable foe until the Kingdom managed, after a bloody war, to scratch two provinces from the Pechenegs, quickly given to sons of King Dukas. And just as Bulgaria licked its wounds, the elderly Gézà Arpad, duke of Nyitra, brought his troops from afar and smashed aside the weakened Pechenegs, taking all the other Pecheneg provinces that rightly belong to Bulgaria, for instance Constantia and Galaz.

But the duchy of Nyitra is far away, and the counties we covet, although packed together, are very weak from years of war. For a decade, the kingdom of Bulgaria bid its time, recovering to, one day, quickly conquer the provinces and then organize a defense on the mountains against the armies of Nytira, when they finally arrived. But by then Bulgaria would have had months to prepare a defence.

And when the Kingdom of Bulgaria was getting ready to conquer what they rightfully posessed, luck shined upon the Duchy of Nyitra

The personal Bishop of the Duke of Nyitra is anointed to the Papacy.

Shit.

But the Duke of Nyitra is old, and despite his prestige and good standing in front of the church, his psyche is weak, and his sucessor is as little of a military man as his father.

What will become of the Kingdom of Bulgaria?

Once upon a time there was a tavern /
Where we used to raise a glass or two /
Remember how we laughed away the hours /
And dreamed of all the great things we would do /

[chorus] Those were the days my friend /
We thought they’d never end /
We’d sing and dance forever and a day /
We’d live the life we choose /
We’d fight and never lose /
For we were young and sure to have our way. / La la la la…

Those were the days, oh yes those were the days/
Then the busy years went rushing by us /
We lost our starry notions on the way /
If by chance I’d see you in the tavern /
We’d smile at one another and we’d say

[chorus]

Just tonight I stood before the tavern /
Nothing seemed the way it used to be /
In the glass I saw a strange reflection /
Was that lonely woman really me /

[chorus]

Through the door there came familiar laughter /
I saw your face and heard you call my name /
Oh my friend we’re older but no wiser /
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same

Songwriters: STROUSE, CHARLES/ADAMS, LEE